14th roar [ text ]

[adamant]

[ private text message to Rinoa Heartilly: ]

Are you doing alright?

[ SO AWKWARD. The wonderful thing about text is that it doesn't involve talking to people! Yeah. ]

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[adamant]

You're not. I'm here, aren't I?

[ He says it matter-of-factly, looking down at her. And he means it: he doesn't expend energy on things or people he doesn't care about. Her pain--he knows it's tough, to lose a friend, even impermanently. ]

[angelicdelights.livejournal.com]

...I thought you hated me.

[ Because she doesn't have the energy to avoid confronting him anymore. She knows he was Quistis's friend, but he'd never seemed to like her much; really, she's surprised he's here for more than just sorting her things. ]

[adamant]

[ He pauses, then his head drops. ]

I don't hate you. It's...the opposite.

[ Because she doesn't deserve the kind of behavior he's been dishing out so far, not now. ]

[angelicdelights.livejournal.com]

...Um. What?

[ Well, she didn't expect that. At least it distracts her from her sadness? ]

[adamant]

[ It takes him a moment to realize what that sounds like and he rubs the bridge of his nose. Hurr durr how does he words. ]

Where I come from...you died. [ He can't look at her right then, though his hand migrates from his nose to the back of his neck. This is painful to talk about; it always has been. ]

You died, and I couldn't save you.

[angelicdelights.livejournal.com]

[ Well, it's not every day that you hear that you—or some...version of you, or something—are dead. ]

I...died? [ Trying to wrap her mind around it. ] But...it wasn't your fault, right?

[adamant]

[ His expression darkens. It's not every day you get to talk to your deceased ex from another dimension. ]

Yeah. [ He exhales softly through his nose, lost in an old memory. At that question--intellectually, he knows he had nothing to do with it, he's been told it wasn't his fault enough times. That doesn't change how he might feel about it. ] My fault I couldn't do anything about it.

[angelicdelights.livejournal.com]

[ She may know nothing about the situation, and technically he'd been trying to cheer her up, but that kind of guilt didn't sound healthy. ]

It wasn't your responsibility to take care of me, though. I mean....I was—am?—supposed to protect myself, too. So if I got into a situation I couldn't handle....that's my fault.

[ Whatever happened....she can't believe that he would be at fault. ]

[adamant]

[ He bites his lip. Of all the ways he might have imagined this playing out in his head, this wasn't one of them. He imagined himself more put-together, his thoughts in less of a jumble. But being around her is something he's only just started forcing himself to do; just the sight of her, so small and young, strikes chords in him that have been dormant in the same raw state they'd been left in a decade ago. Leon's mind urges him backwards, away from the inevitable emotional fallout of this conversation. Now isn't the time, either for him or for her.

He shakes his head a bit and looks back to her worried face. He couldn't protect her then, and now he can't even make her smile. What good is he? ] It was years ago. It's in the past, now. [ His tone is dismissive, final. He's given her the answer she was looking for, and it's time to move on. Leon, you coward. ] Let's get this stuff sorted.

[ He motions to Quistis' pack, lying still unopened on the bed. He'd rather deal with Rinoa's problems than his own, but that's typical. He'd face down a thousand Heartless before he'd face his demons. ]

[angelicdelights.livejournal.com]

Wait.

[ Hold on one second, Buster. She's not ready to let this topic drop. ]

Can I ask....how it happened?

[ Call it morbid curiosity or whatever, but she just....needs to know. And then they can get back to the topic at hand. ]