adamant | 14th roar [ text ]

[ translation: no, but I doubt you really want to hear about that. ]

I have Alcauld.

[ Translation: I know about Quistis being gone and noticed you haven't posted about it. I care more than you might assume! ]

[ translation: okay, i forgot you were her friend too. are you doing alright? ]

He's fine. He's pretty aggressive, but he'll come around eventually.

[ translation: my arms are considerably less fine. Also this is totes a metaphor for how I feel about things. ]

[ translation: i'm glad you two are fine. also, i'm feeling pretty lonely, to be honest. ]

'Misses' might be too strong a word, but I'm sure the sudden change doesn't help. Quistis knew how to keep him in line.

[ translation: yeah, having a friend that leaves kind of blows. quistis was p. cool. ]

[ translation: don't deny it; you're more upset than you're letting on. ]

No matter what the reason, it doesn't change the fact I have to work on his attitude.　Did she leave you anything?

[ translation: don't derail, this is about you, not me! quistis is still gone and i am pretty sure you're not ok with that. ]

[ translation: okay, okay, i'm definitely really sad right now. but i don't want to deal with it. ]

Wouldn't hurt to have a look.

[ translation: quistis wouldn't have wanted you to mope. ]

[ translation: i don't want to accept her being gone, because then i'm all alone. ]

Need help?

[ translation: you're not, even if it feels that way. ]

[ translation: ...thank you. thank you for offering. ]

You're in Azalea, right?

[ translation: i feel vaguely responsible for your well-being now. shit. :/ ]

[ translation: i can take care of myself....i think.

also lmfao sorry i just now realized that they had left. i really suck at keeping track of things. ]

Good, then I'm coming over. Where are you?

[ translation: let me take care of it, just this once. okay?

ffff i had no idea. we are both stars~ ]

[ translation: ....okay.

ffffff no you're fine; this is actually my character here, i should pay attention to her actions. ]

[ Ten minutes of brisk walking later, there's some knocking at your door, Rinoa. Will you answer? ]

[ Rinoa....hesitates for a minute, before getting up and opening the door. ]

Um....thanks for coming.

Her stuff's over here.... [ Half-hearted gesture into the room. ]

[ He steps inside, but instead of going to Quistis' stuff, he pauses just past the door, looking down at her. She's so short, he thinks. ]

No problem.

[ He'll wait for a moment, just looking her over. She looks miserable. ]

[ Just going to quietly close the door and walk over towards the left-behind items. She doesn't touch them, though. ]

I can't believe she's really gone....

[ He tentatively reaches for her, settling a hand on her shoulder as he follows her to the bag. It's as close as he ever gets to a physical gesture of comfort. It's odd, he thinks, to be touching her.

He's not sure what to say, beyond that he needs to say something, so he'll put on a cool front to try and pretend he knows what he's talking about. He's getting better at this. ]

People leave all the time, in this place. She wouldn't want you to be so sad.

[ The hand on her shoulder is comforting; it's not the same as a hug, but considering everything, it's still calming.

Logically, she knows that Quistis will be fine, the same way Squall was (well, mostly) when he returned to Johto. But Rinoa's always been the type to let her emotions rule her better judgment. ]

I know, but....I've never been good at fighting alone.

[ Not that this is fighting, but. The same principle applies. Even if it sounds kind of pathetic out-loud. ]

You're not. I'm here, aren't I?

[ He says it matter-of-factly, looking down at her. And he means it: he doesn't expend energy on things or people he doesn't care about. Her pain--he knows it's tough, to lose a friend, even impermanently. ]

...I thought you hated me.

[ Because she doesn't have the energy to avoid confronting him anymore. She knows he was Quistis's friend, but he'd never seemed to like her much; really, she's surprised he's here for more than just sorting her things. ]

[ He pauses, then his head drops. ]

I don't hate you. It's...the opposite.

[ Because she doesn't deserve the kind of behavior he's been dishing out so far, not now. ]

...Um. What?

[ Well, she didn't expect that. At least it distracts her from her sadness? ]

[ It takes him a moment to realize what that sounds like and he rubs the bridge of his nose. Hurr durr how does he words. ]

Where I come from...you died. [ He can't look at her right then, though his hand migrates from his nose to the back of his neck. This is painful to talk about; it always has been. ]

You died, and I couldn't save you.

[ Well, it's not every day that you hear that you—or some...version of you, or something—are dead. ]

I...died? [ Trying to wrap her mind around it. ] But...it wasn't your fault, right?

[ His expression darkens. It's not every day you get to talk to your deceased ex from another dimension. ]

Yeah. [ He exhales softly through his nose, lost in an old memory. At that question--intellectually, he knows he had nothing to do with it, he's been told it wasn't his fault enough times. That doesn't change how he might feel about it. ] My fault I couldn't do anything about it.

[ She may know nothing about the situation, and technically he'd been trying to cheer her up, but that kind of guilt didn't sound healthy. ]

It wasn't your responsibility to take care of me, though. I mean....I was—am?—supposed to protect myself, too. So if I got into a situation I couldn't handle....that's my fault.

[ Whatever happened....she can't believe that he would be at fault. ]

[ He bites his lip. Of all the ways he might have imagined this playing out in his head, this wasn't one of them. He imagined himself more put-together, his thoughts in less of a jumble. But being around her is something he's only just started forcing himself to do; just the sight of her, so small and young, strikes chords in him that have been dormant in the same raw state they'd been left in a decade ago. Leon's mind urges him backwards, away from the inevitable emotional fallout of this conversation. Now isn't the time, either for him or for her.

He shakes his head a bit and looks back to her worried face. He couldn't protect her then, and now he can't even make her smile. What good is he? ] It was years ago. It's in the past, now. [ His tone is dismissive, final. He's given her the answer she was looking for, and it's time to move on. Leon, you coward. ] Let's get this stuff sorted.

[ He motions to Quistis' pack, lying still unopened on the bed. He'd rather deal with Rinoa's problems than his own, but that's typical. He'd face down a thousand Heartless before he'd face his demons. ]

Wait.

[ Hold on one second, Buster. She's not ready to let this topic drop. ]

Can I ask....how it happened?

[ Call it morbid curiosity or whatever, but she just....needs to know. And then they can get back to the topic at hand. ]

14th roar [ text ]

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