Because she had a purpose then. She had something to work towards, something that she thought made her life worth something. [She shakes her head; she has her own doubts as well, but that's just all they are. Doubts.]

But I don't think she'll go that far. Not yet. She cares about her team and her friends, and I doubt she'd leave them behind. But that doesn't mean she puts the same value on her life that the rest of us do. Not when she thinks she's worth less than us.